thoughts

Making that “Scary” Jump

I’ve submitted a resignation letter to my boss two weeks ago. I’ve been working with this company for more than a year now but I’ve been in the IT industry for almost ten years. If an employer would look at my resume, they would say I’m a company hopper. Almost ten years and I’ve been to four companies for a regular position, one for a part time position. It’s already a risk for others to hire me as my track record tells them I’m incapable of staying in the same company for a long time. Why should they invest if I’m not staying anyway? I’m still glad my current company hired me knowing my track record. Unfortunately, plans changed.

That resignation letter was submitted without a counter offer from another company. I submitted that knowing I’ll be jobless for quite some time. It has been six years since I’ve done that and I told myself I won’t be repeating that and here I am doing it again. So what’s the difference from that situation way back 2013 and now? Back then, I had not much to lose. I was single (in official documents), I was not a breadwinner, I made substantial savings that I can use for 6 to 12 months, and I was living with parents. In short, I’ve got people to support me even if I go jobless. Now, I’m married, I’ve accumulated substantial work experience to make me stable in my career, I went back to school and started my MBA, and I don’t want to rely to my parents relating to financials. On top of that, I’m moving overseas with my husband which means, new environment (four seasons, pray for my nose please), no family nearby, no friends nearby, and no job.

To be honest, I was scared and I remember telling my husband about it. I was hesitant to leave because it’s a big, scary jump. Our original plan was for me to wait here in the Philippines until his contract finishes and see if he can spend Christmas here as well. It means we had to suck it up and miss each other, we will be both financially stable anyway. Sabi nga nung iba, “tiis muna para makaipon.” I wasn’t sold to the idea of leaving, that’s why when my husband told me less that a month overseas to join him there already, I asked him that we need to compute the bills. I’m scared of being buried in debt. Who isn’t anyway? And so more weeks passed and my husband, who’s probably missing me a lot (hehe), asked me if he should get a separate flat or join his office colleagues to share rent. If I’ll join him, he’ll get a separate flat. His colleagues told him it would be hard to share with others because we’re newly married… if you know what they mean. =)) Also, hubby did his homework by checking if our finances will be secured if I don’t get a job for a few months. He’s ready to be a sugar daddy. =)) Apart from that, I know he doesn’t want me to worry and he answered my worries logically so there’s not need to actually worry about.

Kidding aside, I actually thought about it a lot before talking to my boss. I mentioned earlier that moving there means leaving a stable job, my comfort zone. So I tried to search for online jobs that would actually keep me busy once I’m there (which would be for another post). My colleague told me about his relative that went through the same phase as I am going through now. The husband moved to Singapore and the wife stayed in the Philippines to work. After a few months, the wife decided to go to Singapore and look for a job there. In my colleague’s words, “She chose happiness over her career.” And he told my boss that I might be doing the same thing. Of course I am 🙂 Who wants to be married and live together for 3 weeks then to LDR after? These days I don’t feel “married” because I went back to my parents’ house and continue living the same before our actual wedding. Apart from having two houses now where I can sleep and wearing the ring, not much has changed. And I realized that what I wanted to change, to really be separated from my parents, live independently with my husband and start building our life together.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared and I pray for guidance and peace of mind. It was given through a realization that I always need to remember I’m not going through this alone. Because isn’t that what marriage is about? Going through a lot of things together no matter what.

2 thoughts on “Making that “Scary” Jump”

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